Double Toilet



A double toilet has never been my idea of nirvana, but apparently they do exist. I guess it's so you can hold hands with your beloved while you both do your business in the bathroom. Double roll toilet paper holders probably wouldn't be out of the question, either. At least when one roll is empty, you've always got the second one for back up. But that brings us to the ultimate question. Is a double duty commode better than none at all? Well, let's ponder that for a bit, and try not to get too weird.



Let's consider a worst case scenario and let's make two test cases, shall we? Take the TV program, Survivors; 30 some odd castaways on a desert island, with no houses, no Taco Bells that smell like soybean enchiladas, and no commode. Oh, if you count every tree as a commode, I guess you could say there were tens of thousands, but that's not quite what I mean. I mean the kind of sit down, take your shoes off and relax a while kind of commode.

But on a desert island, you don't have a lot of options. Space, yes. Options, no. This is not like an overnight stay at Howard Johnson's with sand floors and private rooms. No. This is where everyone around you knows when you go to do your business, whether it's pee, crap, fart, or... whatever, and no one is gonna say a thing because everyone has to do it. Now, granted, the producers probably provide a shovel and a roll of toilet paper so that the defecating contestants don't return to camp smelling like they have rancid Aunt Jemima pancake syrup stuck to their hands, but its is still pretty primitive.

If we were to outline this properly, the steps would be: Watch for when no one is looking. Casually take a stroll down one of the paths while carrying huge shovel and pretending that no one has noticed. At a point sufficiently far from camp, exit path through jungle fauna and hope that no one was following. Dig hole with shovel. Complete transaction. Cover hole. Return to camp and put shovel where it belongs, as if nothing extraordinary just happened. This is the way it's supposed to work. But wait a minute! Do you mean that neither the orange and black spider that crawled up your immobilized leg, nor that first hole that you dug on top of a fire ant mound, turned into something extraordinary? OK, at any rate you were relieved of excess payload and nobody cared, including the girl who only stoles far enough to where she can no longer see camp, then figures jungles weren't exactly made for blazing new paths. Test case number one: Fail.

Over Toilet Shelves